It Pays To Discover (That Indian Americans Are Clearly Watching AI This Year)

Surprise, surprise -- the two blandest white women in AI history have been voted off. Don't ask me to remember their names because ... I have no clue. I just remember that they weren't worth remembering, and that somewhere Bonnie Raitt is knifing a chick from the Northwest who committed attempted homicide on her greatest musical hit. Erykah Badu would likely be doing the same to Nicole (it was Nicole, right?), who was just as craptastic on her tune, if she wasn't too high to leave the house. I'm okay with going 0 for 4 with my predictions of who would go home this week, because it's really just a matter of time before the mannequins leave our eardrums for good. If not now, 'twill come soon my friends, soon.

The only real travesties came with the dudes' results from last night. It scared me when I thought to myself as Rudy was singing -- "Y'know, this guy is just like that guy Patrick Hall who [also] sang first on AI Season 5 and [also] had a GREAT voice that no one was really picking up on". It was the closest thing to watching history clone itself as I can remember -- wherein, two strong male talents went first, had no cameratime or uniqueness to make them memorable with fans, and bit the bullet in the first week. Maybe Pat and The Rude can make a duet about being underappreciated in the music biz. Oh wait, every other unsigned artist is singing that song too. Hm. Again, no one ever said they were unique. Although Mr. Cardenas didn't have much in the way of star power, I'd pay quite a few pennies to see him sing more often than Sanjaya. All good though, maybe it's best to put the clearly-not-going-to-winners out of their misery early.

As for Sanjaya, it became GROSSLY obvious that he will fill the Chicken Little role this year, following in the baby footsteps of Season 5's Kevin Covais. Y'know.. the kid who is cute to some because when he sings, you almost want to go pee in your pants FOR HIM, just so he doesn't have to do it right there on stage in front of millions, which you know he's just 2 seconds away from doing every time. What's more, Sanjaya has the entire Indian American votership rallying for him, and will likely find ways to raise immigration quotas to unfathomable limits just to get some more support. There is no other way that this child would be in the Top 4 of anything related to singing well. But, lucky for him his mild manners border on anemic, and whenever the little peanut looks around the room, so lost in a cave of wonders called spotlights and applause, he conjures up innumerable images of sick, shaking, 3-limbed puppies that sock-it-to-ya fans like me can't even wish him a slow and uncomfortable death quite as easily as I could Covais. So, to the detriment of all who appreciate being entertained and impressed through music, we must put up with the Indian Prince for quite a bit more. Stating the ridiculousness of that fact is so unnecessary that I'll just stop where I am.

As for next week, we get to see the Ladies continue to set it off, and the Men continue to drag it out. The Barbies will likely meet their Maker next week, and Sundance "Will My Ass Ever Let Go of My" Head may actually sing something well. I don't really care, as long as Lakisha comes over for pancakes and mimosas like she promised.